mars 24, 2023


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Cork Woman Margaret Kelly On Online Dating – « Real Life Was Never Like Us, But Tender Did It »

The beginning of the year is traditionally the month in which we change our lifestyles, and this applies to our relationships as well. We are looking forward with hope and optimism, and if one of your priorities is partnership, now is the time to start exploring possibilities.

The dating world has gone through a revolution over the past decade, and we no longer count on giving someone a happy look through a crowded bar. Sites like POF, Bumble, and Hinge have become very popular in recent years as people log in in droves, but Tinder dating apps are still Big Daddy.

With 57 million users, 1.6 billion swipes a day, and a million dates a week, that’s a huge number of users looking for love. But even with millions of romance hopefuls out there, the app is receiving a lot of bad news.

Tinder ups and downs

« You can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship. » That’s according to Michelle Obama, who was talking to Conan O’Brien on the popular podcast last fall, and many would agree with the former first lady but disagree. I see, on the surface, Tinder is… all on the surface. You sign up for the app, upload your most forgiving picture and say hey Mary that someone might like your look.

We’ve all heard the consumer criticism that it’s just a hookup app and that it favors beauty, and that’s true to some extent. Tinder’s book of disaster dates is a book we are all familiar with.

Just like in real life, people can ignore each other’s feelings. You get shaded and bench seated and it turns out that the handsome 6-foot-2-inch pilot is 5’4-inch and lives in his mother’s basement. But you grit your teeth and keep going because sometimes you might meet someone you love. It could be for a night, a stormy week or the rest of your life, and this is an opportunity worth taking, even with the fear of a broken heart and the possibility of lasting disappointment.

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Even though people are using dating apps more than ever, that doesn’t mean you won’t feel a bit shy. I still feel a bit embarrassed when I tell people how I met my boyfriend. Maybe I’m embarrassed because I’ve been actively looking for love, when love was traditionally something that was meant to fall into our arms, or maybe because it’s seen as a connecting app. Fortunately, the tide is starting to turn, with 60% of people now saying they think online dating is a great way to meet a partner.

If you want to be wary of the wind and spin the wheel of online dating, there’s never been a better time, as the first Sunday in January is Tinder’s busiest day of the year. According to the app, it also « begins what is known as ‘dating season’ – the start of the busiest months for making connections. » However, the increase for singles continues until January, when those trying online dating prefer the first 31 days of the year.

Margaret’s story

I was part of the « Busiest Day of the Year on Tinder » crew, swiping on my partner for three years during the first Sunday in January. Just like millions of others, I decided it was time to take out my phone and download the Tinder app (again). I was 39 at the time and had been on and off the Tinder train for several years, but I hope the springs are eternal and I think I’ll give it another whirl.

What made me criticize his right? It so happened that he mentioned something about music that I liked, apparently, that was enough. Once we started exchanging messages, I realized he was smart and attractive and I was interested.

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Before we met, I only had two prerequisites for a man I wanted to date: I wanted a man taller than me – he was an inch shorter – and I wanted a man without children – who had two. I chose to ignore my checklist and go with my hunch. It has proven to be one of my best decisions.

It’s chalk for cheese, it’s perfect for perfection and it’s all about what it does, while I’m in favor of the « you’ll be great » life philosophy. Real life has never been quite our match, but Tinder did.

Three years later, there were trips to Bali, Istanbul and Sri Lanka. We have survived a family bereavement and a couple of closures. We got a cat, 2 dogs, and 11 chickens. There was a merging of life, a transition to country and life together, all because one Sunday night in January, I swiped right. A split-second decision put me on a different path that I wouldn’t have dreamed of just a few short years ago. It looks like you can Tinder your way to a long term relationship after all.

Tinder by numbers

There are an average of 30 million matches on Tinder every day.

The busiest day ever was March 29, 2020 with 3 billion strikes per day.

Best time of the day to have a match: 9pm

Percentage of times women swipe to the right: 14%

Percentage of times men swipe right: 46%

Most right-swiped jobs for men: Pilot

Most right-handed jobs for women: physical therapist